“I will give you an example of how race affects my life. I live in a place called Alpine, New Jersey. Live in Alpine, New Jersey, right? My house costs millions of dollars. In my neighborhood, there are four black people. Hundreds of houses, four black people. Who are these black people? Well, there’s me, Mary J. Blige, Jay-Z and Eddie Murphy. Only black people in the whole neighborhood. So let’s break it down, let’s break it down: me, I’m a decent comedian. I’m a’ight. Mary J. Blige, one of the greatest R&B singers to ever walk the Earth. Jay-Z, one of the greatest rappers to ever live. Eddie Murphy, one of the funniest actors to ever, ever do it. Do you know what the white man who lives next door to me does for a living? He’s a fucking dentist! He ain’t the best dentist in the world…he ain’t going to the dental hall of fame…he don’t get plaques for getting rid of plaque. He’s just a yank-your-tooth-out dentist. See, the black man gotta fly to get to somethin’ the white man can walk to.”—Chris Rock (via marxisforbros)
Walking around wondering why the past has me so upset lately, and then I look at the calendar. Five years later and the days of the week are exactly the same, it will be on a Saturday again, the same Wednesday, and for all my years of battling myself I still can’t let go. You can torture yourself and relive something in your head over and over again, but when even the days are exactly the same I’d prefer amnesia over deja vu.
Hopefully it’s just a milestone, maybe I set myself up for this back then, and once the anniversary of a year that I had planned out an entirely different way has passed something will change in me greatly enough to finally let it go. It’s one thing to be humble and forgive yourself for mistakes in the past, but that feeling of knowing a person gave up on you in spite of everything you really wanted is the worse feeling in the world.
Never replace a person while they are still in your life, get as far away from the end as you can, and then move on, but never make a person feel like they did not mean anything to you and could be replaced like they should be expected to go.